Author: Laura Wilson
Finding out you’re now a twin mum, you realise what a special journey you’re life has taken. But when you have sisters who are yet to have kids themselves, it can be an underlying worry for them to contemplate that they too might have twins one day. Especially knowing that their chances increased the day you announced your twins. So I wanted to write a letter to my own two sisters and to other sisters of fraternal twin mum’s experiencing the same headspace.
Dear my sisters,
I want to write to you, sister-to-sister that I hear you and you have my support no matter which way your one-day mama journey takes.
I hear your underlying worry that one day you too might have twins too one day. I hear you defiant “’I’m not having twins”. And I hear your perspective as someone who would prefer to have one baby at a time than two.
When I found out that I was pregnant with twins, I had completely forgotten that our great grandfather was fraternal twin. I used to laugh along with my friends when they they were joking about how it would be funny to surprise their partner with twins and whilst I would never be the one imagining that world for myself. Yet here I am the one with twins.
Finding out I was going to be a fraternal twin mum
But the day I found out I was having twins, it was the biggest shock of my life. I almost walked in to a river. I called in to work saying I needed to take the rest of the day off. Drove home from my appointment of finding out with the only words I could string together “who even has twins’ these days” even though one of my good friends herself had the same type of twins as me now.
I unsuccessfully walked in to work the next day trying to contain all my emotions. And for the next two week’s I would jump up in bed in the middle of the night in shock – I guess my mind didn’t want me to forget. It was the biggest shock of my life, and yet it’s given me a whole lot of strength – surely nothing else in my life could give me more of a shock.
When I got to tell people in person I was pregnant, I got to have the experience and joy of telling them twice at once I was pregnant. I could see peoples eyes and faces really light up as I told them it was twins. And it was only your sister-in-law who thought I was joking. That was super special every time I got to have that conversation.
The joys of being a fraternal twin mum
If one day, you too find yourself to become a twin mum, I will be there part of your support crew being able to offer you guidance, love, tricks, and support. I’ll give you the space you need to navigate this world from your own perspective. Rather than smothering you (even though I will be over the moon excited). You won’t hear ‘double trouble’ from me but instead double the cuteness, joy, cuddles, giggles and blessings. You won’t need to navigate it alone and you’ll be respected in the path you choose.
I wanted to share some of my perspectives with you that have helped my headspace.
There’s often a theme I’ve found throughout twin mums. They’re overachievers and strong. There’s a little spark in their minds that say, ‘oh this makes sense now’. For me, this was absolutely true. I feel like I’m in good company with my twin mum friends which is encouraging for me to keep achieving in a true sense to myself.
A sense of strength
I’ve really found in myself a new sense of strength that always felt there but since being pregnant with my twins only started to appear. It’s underpinned by this purpose in life that makes so much sense to me now. And collectively, that’s made me a more fulfilled person and stronger in knowing who I am.
I’ve been able to strive and achieve lots. It’s not necessarily what I thought I would have achieved since being pregnant and my goal markers have had to move. But I can look back these last almost two years and see I’ve achieved so much.
Fraternal twins are the safest twin pregnancy you can have meaning that there would be two placentas and two sacs. It’s a comfort to know that it’s the safest version of having twins.
In the meantime, I hope you can enjoy being aunties to twins. They love you and have lots of fun and cuddles with you. That’s also an important role.
Love from your fraternal twin mum sister,
Xx
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