All those Facebook memes about motherhood and parenting are very funny, mostly because they are completely true. But we’ve noticed a bit of a regular pattern when it comes to the familiar ‘mothers and wine’ memes; they are getting more and more common. Are all these memes just harmless fun, or should we be a bit more concerned about this increase in mums who drink?
Our girl/boy twins are our only children, and they have always had a close twin relationship. Sure they fight and annoy each other occasionally (and we had the odd biting incidents which you can read about HERE), but it’s never serious, or lasts long. I’ve got friends whose twins fight ALL THE TIME, so I am grateful that ours enjoy being together. And let’s be honest, it’s not like they have much choice!!
They are now 7 years old, and are in year one at school. And we have got to the point where it is starting to drive me a bit batty!
In the last week alone we have had the following twin relationship “incidents”.
- Girl twin took a ball to school (to play handball with). Another girl in the class took the ball off her. Boy twin steps in and takes ball back of the other girl. And then throws it at her face “because she took the ball off my sister”.
- In the car on the way home from school (same day as the above ball ‘incident’) and the kids asked for a tic tac each. I said that as boy twin had not done the right thing at school by throwing a ball at his classmates face that he couldn’t have a tic tac and that the girl twin could have both. Cue tears from boy twin. I gave the girl twin two tic tacs. The following day after school they asked for another tic tac, and then pipe up with the story about how yesterday the girl twin had given BOTH her tic tacs to the boy twin. Even though he was the one who was in trouble and not allowed to have any. She forfeited both hers to make him happy.
- I go walking at night with another mum from their class, and she tells me “how cute it was” when girl twin asked boy twin if he wanted her to sign in for him so he could go to the toilet before the bell went. Signing in at their school means writing their name and doing some counting etc.
- Girl twin loses first tooth right on bedtime (this is a momentous occasion as neither had lost a tooth yet, and most of their younger class mates have lost several). Girl twin is crying as it is bleeding, boy twin risks the wrath of both parents who just want them to get into bed by jumping back out of bed to take one of his favourite soft toys to her to cuddle. 5 minutes later boy twin starts crying as he hasn’t lost a tooth yet. So girl twin offers for him to sleep with her tooth.
- I threatened the boy twin that I was going to vacuum up his Lego if he didn’t pick it up. Girl twin starts crying saying “No Mummy, don’t do that I will pick it up for him”.
Other twin relationship “incidents” include:
- When one twin refused to eat their dinner and was sent to bed. We find out the next day that the other twin had raided the biscuit tin and fruit bowl and snuck food down to the one in trouble without us knowing.
- Boy twin bit another kid at Kindy last year as he bit his twin sister.
- At their school sometimes the group in the class (they are in the same school, but different groups) gets a prize. Boy twin chose something that he though girl twin would like and gave it to her. Teacher though it was “sweet”; so let boy twin choose another prize for himself. This totally defeats the purpose as now girl twin has a prize and no one else in her group does. And the prize was awarded for good work!
- If one of them has to go to the doctor/dentist/hairdresser and the other doesn’t, and the one going gets a lollypop or sticker they always ask for one for their twin. Girl twin had a blood test once and promptly gave the soft toy she was given to the boy twin as “he likes teddy bears”.
- You can’t take one out for some one on one time and buy them a special juice or something without them insisting we take one back for their twin.
- If you give them a biscuit/end of a carrot when cooking/drink of your drink they always take it over to their twin first before coming back for more. Often there isn’t anymore, as it was the last one or something so then I need to find something different for the twin that I originally gave it to.
- They will give up their favourite soft toy for the night to the other twin if the other twin is sad or sick.
One of their current games is a song and dance that they have made up. It involves girl twin chasing boy twin around the house to catch him. She then cuddles him and does an awkward looking “wedding shuffle” with him singing “I love you, I love you, I’m going to marry you, I’m going to marry you, I’m going to marry you because I love you, I love you”. Boy twin screams and tries to get away. But then goes on to ask girl twin to “can we play that again”.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m pleased that their twin relationship is so close. But sometimes it makes setting boundaries and accepting consequences very hard. Also I fear that our boy twin is starting to just “assume” that his sister will do things for him.
I’m sure others multiples have a similar twin relationship where they do similar things. Tell us in the comments what things your multiples do for each other. Things which make you smile and cringe at the same time.
Passionate about all things multiple, Naomi is the founder of Twinfo.
Naomi is a Parenting Blogger and a Brand Ambassador, but most important of all she is a Twin Mother who understands.
Twinfo provides a connection to resources, information, products and service providers who specialise in supporting multiple births at every stage of their life.
Lauren and Charlotte are nearly 12 years old and have their own opinions on EVERYTHING! As a parent of twins myself, I often wonder how their relationship will be when they are older. So to find out, Twinfo conducted a Twinterview with Lauren and Charlotte separately and it is interesting to hear the similarities and differences in their answers.
Are you identical twins or fraternal twins?
About our twins
Our twins were born six weeks early, right in the middle of June. In QLD, the cut off for the school year is 30 June. We immediately made the decision that they were NOT going to school ‘the year they were meant to’. If they did they literally would have been the youngest in their year. I’m so pleased that we made this decision right from the start as it removed a lot of the angst later on. I saw so many of my friends struggle with this decision, but for us it was an easy decision. Of course there were some moments when I questioned if we were doing the right thing, but we stayed firm and stuck to our original decision. We have now completed our first year at school, and I am grateful for our decision.
As published in Essential Baby – link here
When it comes to multiples starting school, the main question every parent has to consider is “should they be in the same class, or should they be separated”. This obviously is only a point of consideration if your school has more than one class per year, and it is also worth checking your schools policy, as some schools may have a policy regarding multiple birth families.
As parents of girl/boy twins who started school this year, this was something that we discussed a lot. In the end, we decided to keep them together for the first year, and then we will reply on teacher’s advice, the kid’s personal input and out thoughts to make the decision for next year.
These are the reasons that we decided to keep our twins together for the first year of school.
Author: Beth Pettrey
About our twins
Our girl/boy twins, Claire and Owen, have always had a disruptive relationship towards each other. Prior to school we had not had an opportunity to trial splitting them up as neither our daycare nor our Kindy (or preschool in other states) had separate rooms to suit their age bracket. At Kindy they managed their behaviour towards each other by making sure they never sat next to each other during group time (i.e. normally opposite sides of the circle) as they would distract each other. When it came to school we had already decided to spilt them into separate classes, however, this was reinforced when Owen told us directly that he didn’t want to be in the same class as Claire. Considering this was literally the only comment he ever made about going to school we thought it was important to validate his comment!
About our twins
Our twins were born six weeks early, right in the middle of June. IN QLD, the cut off for the school year is 30 June. We immediately made the decision that they were NOT going to school ‘the year they were meant to’. If they did they literally would have been the youngest in their year. I’m so pleased that we made this decision right from the start as it removed a lot of the angst later on. I saw so many of my friends struggle with this decision, but for us it was an easy decision. Of course there were some moments when I questioned if we were doing the right thing, but we stayed firm and stuck to our original decision. We have now completed our first year at school, and I am grateful for our decision.