The harm in well-meaning platitudes — and what support really looks like
Double Trouble — It Sounds Cute, But Here’s the Problem
You’re out at the shops, juggling a huge nappy bag, a double pram loaded with grocery bags and your twins are overdue feed, when someone strolls by with a grin and says it:
“Ohhh, double trouble!”
It’s usually followed by a little chuckle, maybe a wink — as if it’s a harmless, cheeky comment. But for parents of twins or triplets who are running on empty and carrying the weight of double (or triple) the emotional, mental and physical load… it’s not quite as funny as people think.
Because beneath the joke lies a deeper issue: phrases like “double trouble” can subtly dismiss the very real challenges of raising multiples.
And when the hard work, sacrifice, and exhaustion of parenting twins is reduced to a punchline — it can leave parents feeling unseen, misunderstood, and even a little bit isolated.
The Hidden Harm Behind the Phrase “Double Trouble”
At face value, “double trouble” is meant to be light hearted. But here’s why it lands differently when you’re in the thick of it:
- It makes light of a serious reality. Raising two or more babies at once isn’t just about twice the nappies — it’s double the feeding schedules, double the wake-ups, double the worry.
- It centres the chaos, not the courage. The focus is on the trouble, not the resilience, creativity or strength it takes to parent twins or triplets.
- It shuts down connection. Instead of opening a space for meaningful conversation or support, it puts a humorous lid on something much deeper.
Over time, these little comments can add up. Parents start to feel like their experience is being minimised — that unless it’s adorable or chaotic, it’s not worth acknowledging.
How This Affects Multiple Birth Parents Emotionally
When you’re already tired, touched out, and running on caffeine and adrenaline, hearing “double trouble” again and again can stir up all kinds of feelings:
- Guilt — for feeling overwhelmed, when people assume you’re just in a cute chaos phase
- Resentment — when your challenges are brushed off as part of the “fun”
- Loneliness — because no one seems to really get it
Let’s be honest. Parenting twins or triplets can be a wild, wonderful ride — but it’s also demanding, emotional and often invisible work. And parents don’t need to feel like they have to smile and nod at every comment just to be polite.
So, What Does Support For A Multiple Birth Parent Actually Look Like?
If we want to do better than “double trouble,” here’s what parents of multiples really need:
1. Acknowledgement, not assumptions
Instead of jokey one-liners, try genuine acknowledgement
- “They’re lucky to have you as their parent.”
- “You might not see it, but you’re absolutely nailing this.”
- “You’re doing such a great job.”
- “I’m genuinely impressed — you make it look easier than I’m sure it is.”
2. Specific, practical offers of help
- “Would you like me to grab you a coffee while you feed them?”
- “Do you want me to hold one baby for you so you can focus on the other?”
3. Respect for the emotional load
- Recognise that it’s not just about logistics — it’s about identity, adjustment, and often survival
- Understand that twin parenting can be joyful and exhausting in the same breath
Let’s Retire the Catchphrases
Phrases like “double trouble” or “you’ve got your hands full” might be well-meant, but they often land flat — or worse, leave parents feeling like their reality is being made into a joke.
What if we swapped them for something more helpful?
- “That looks like a lot — how can I support you?”
- “You’re doing something amazing.”
- “I see how much you’re holding.”
Because seeing parents of twins and triplets — really seeing them — means acknowledging both the magic and the mess.
Final Thoughts on “Double Trouble”
There’s no denying that parenting multiples brings a unique kind of chaos. But it also brings incredible strength, connection and resilience.
So, let’s leave “double trouble” in the toy aisle where it belongs — and make space for real, respectful conversations instead.
Twinfo is Australia’s largest, most supportive, online community for parents of twins and triplets. Twinfo offers advice, products and services that make raising your babies easier, freeing you up to enjoy all the precious moments.
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