Choosing godparents for twins or multiples is not as simple as you may think.
The role of the godparent can differ slightly from religion to religion. The basic purpose though is that they are people selected by parents to witness the baptism of their children and to guide them along their religious pathway and assist with their spiritual formation.
This concept has been taken on board by those who like the idea, however would prefer not to have the religious aspect of the ceremony. These ceremonies often go by the name of a “baby blessing” or a “glistening”. It is a way to welcome your child/children into the family and to choose people you would like to take an interest in your child’s personal development and upbringing and serve as role models outside of their family. For the sake of this article, the term “godparent” will be used, regardless if it is a religious or civil ceremony.
It is important to note, that being a godparent of a child does not mean this person becomes the legal guardian should something happen to the parents. A legal guardian is someone who has been formally appointed in your will to care for your children in the case of the death of both parents. The guardian, however, does not control any funds that are left behind if the parents pass away. This role is left to the trustee managing your estate. It is possible for the guardian and the trustee to be the same person.
How many godparents for twins or triplets
Choosing a godparent for one child can be hard enough, let alone trying to choose godparents for twins or triplets or more! There is so much to think about. Will you have one godparent for each child? Or a set of godparents for each child? Will you use the same godparents for each child? If you have separate “sets” of godparents, will you tell each child who their specific godparent is? Or just refer to them all as your childrens (plural) godparents??
If you are doing a religious baptism, you may need to check with your church as some churches require you to specify exactly which godparent is godparent to which child. Other churches are happy to just accept them as “godparents” to the “children”.
These decisions may be made easier for you if you already have children who have godparents. You may just choose to mirror whatever you have previously done. You may just decide to use the same godparents as you have for your older children. Alternatively, if you choose to have different godparents than your older children already have then you may choose to ensure you select the same number of godparents.
To share or not to share?
Some people feel it is not “fair” to give the older child their “own set” of godparents, but then expect twins or triplets to “share” a set of godparents.
One reason to choose for your multiples to share a set of godparents is if you don’t have a lot of people in your life that have either a) met the churches requirements or b) you can’t really decide on enough people to bestow the honour to.
Giving each child their own set of godparents is a way of treating your multiples as individuals, as opposed to treating them as a set.
Regardless of whom you choose and why, you must be sure to be upfront with the person about your expectations of them as godparent to your twins or triplets.
How to choose which godparent is for which child?
Now that you have decided how many godparents you need, you need to decide who they will be. Careful thought needs to go into this. Not only is it a big responsibility, it is also a big honour for the person you ask. Once you have chosen who you plan to ask, you then need to decide how you will choose which person is godparent to which child!
Obviously, if you have decided to just use the same people for each child, then you don’t need to worry about this.
However you decide to choose which child has which godparent, will probably depend on who you are choosing and why. You may choose to ensure each child has one family member as their godparent and one family friend. Or you may decide that the mother chooses the female god parents and the father chooses the male godparents.
As you can see, choosing godparents for twins or triplets is not a straightforward process. However, by taking a methodical approach to it, and by answering the questions raised in this article you will hopefully soon be able to narrow down exactly how many godparents you need and who you plan to ask.
Passionate about all things multiple, Naomi is the founder of Twinfo.
Naomi is a Parenting Blogger and a Brand Ambassador, but most important of all she is a twin mother who understands.
Twinfo provides a connection to resources, information, products and service providers who specialise in supporting multiple births at every stage of their life.