By Irene Becker, Mother of 3, Investor, Coach, Founder & CEO, 99aupairs
I once read a book, The Wife Drought by Annabel Crabb, and heard myself saying out loud (maybe a tad too loud) – YES, I want a wife! And since then, I have heard this same sentence being echoed by many, many mothers I meet and speak to!
As mothers, what we really need is a wife. Someone who will remember to turn on the washing machine, stack and unstack the dishwasher during the day, reset the kitchen—so we can spend quality time with our children or even fall asleep in their bed without having to worry about the dozens of unfinished tasks before we run out of battery.
For families searching for an Aupair for Twins or Triplets, there is no upgrade from one, two, or three—it’s a tidal wave that keeps on going in many different directions, I might add!
For many families, the decision to bring an Aupair into the home is not just about childcare; it’s about regaining balance, reducing stress, and making life work. But how do you make the transition smooth and successful? Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you navigate the process with confidence.
Phase 1-3: Setting Yourself Up for Success
1. Define Your Needs and Explore Options
The first step in hiring an Aupair for twins or triplets is understanding your family’s needs. Are you looking for full-time support, after-school care, or help with managing household tasks? Different families have different requirements, so clarity is key.
Tip: Work with a reputable agency to avoid common pitfalls and assess your best options. An experienced partner will guide you through the process, ensuring that you don’t fall into the trap of hiring the wrong fit. If going without an agency, be prepared to be ghosted—a lot.
Even if an agency seems out of your affordability range, the savings on time, effort, and the cost of searching and rehiring—along with the impact on your mental health and earning capacity—might surprise you.
2. AuPair for Twins or Triplets: Choosing the Right Aupair
If you’re looking for an Aupair for Twins or Triplets, you’ll want someone with experience in managing multiple children of the same age group. Once you’ve defined your needs, the next step is to find the right match.
- Reliability – Can they manage responsibility independently?
- Flexibility – Will they adapt to your family’s routine?
- Experience – Have they worked with children of similar ages before?
- Personality Fit – Will they integrate well into your household dynamic?
- Medical and Mental Fitness – Can they handle the physical demands, from jumping on a trampoline to managing allergies or pets? Are they mentally resilient and prepared for the challenges of childcare?
- Motivation – Dig deep to understand why they want to be an Aupair to avoid attracting the wrong kind.
- References – Always check references to validate reliability and experience.
A great agency will help you assess these factors, ensuring that you’re making an informed decision rather than taking a gamble.
Raya du Plooy, Founder of Picky Pads.co: “I’ve had Aupairs and I’m a big advocate for them (I was one when I was younger too). Most people I suggest getting one to are surprised at how affordable they are compared to daycare and the relief they bring—like being able to do the groceries on your own or being able to schedule a date night.”
3. AuPair for Twins or Triplets: Preparing Your Family and Home
Preparing for an Aupair for twins or triplets requires extra thought, as they will be managing children with the same developmental needs simultaneously. Before your Aupair arrives, set the stage for a smooth transition.
- Prepare your kids – Talk to them about the Aupair’s role in the household.
- Set expectations – Be clear about duties, schedules, and house rules.
- Create a welcoming space – Ensure your Aupair has a comfortable, private area to unwind.
A little preparation goes a long way in making your Aupair feel at home while setting the right tone for a positive working relationship.
Watch this video from Candy – Twin Mum and happy Aupair host
Phase 4-5: Onboarding & Managing Expectations
Many families—especially those hiring an Aupair for twins or triplets—struggle with letting go of control, but successful delegation is essential.
4. Clear Communication and Structured Onboarding
Handing over responsibility is often a challenge for parents who are used to doing it all themselves. The reality is, some things won’t be done exactly how you would do them—and that’s okay.
✅ Tip: Put everything in writing. Give your Aupair clear, written guidelines to follow so they don’t have to ask about tasks repeatedly. Simple checklists, schedules, and reference sheets help ensure consistency.
✅ Tip: Let them have alone time with the kids. If you’re working from home, your children may naturally gravitate toward you instead of the Aupair. It’s important to create time for them to bond and establish trust, so the Aupair can effectively take charge.
✅ Tip: Establish the Aupair’s authority. If your kids are older, introduce the Aupair formally: “This is Louise, our new Aupair. She’s here to help look after you while mummy and daddy are working. If you need a snack, want to jump on the trampoline, or need a cup of milk, you’ll need to ask Louise.” This sets expectations for your children and reinforces the Aupair’s role.
Raya du Plooy, Founder of Picky Pads.co: “I’ve had Aupairs and I’m a big advocate for them (I was one when I was younger too). With one of my children being autistic and me having ADHD, sensory overwhelm is a big factor in our home. Having an Aupair meant someone could step in and engage with the other children while I managed additional needs—creating a much calmer household. Most people are surprised at how affordable Aupairs are compared to daycare and the relief they bring—like running errands solo or scheduling a date night. We’re even heading to Berlin soon to visit one of our past Aupairs, who became part of our family over five years ago!”
Watch this video from Candy – Twin Mum and happy Aupair host
5. Managing Expectations and Overcoming Challenges
Let’s be honest: we can be like 3-year-old hangry toddlers after two weeks or months of interrupted sleep and constant overstimulation. If we don’t communicate well, frustrations can build up. A successful Aupair placement relies on open dialogue, patience, and mutual respect.
✅ Tip: Regular Check-ins Schedule weekly meetings to discuss what’s working and what’s not. Encourage open, honest conversations so small issues don’t become big problems.
✅ Tip: Encourage Independence Trust your Aupair to handle responsibilities without micromanaging. If something isn’t done to your standard, provide guidance, not criticism. Teaching takes time, and patience is key.
✅ Tip: Allow Space for Growth Your Aupair will need time to adjust. Mistakes will happen, and routines will evolve. Focus on progress rather than perfection, and remember that the goal is to create a supportive, stress-free home environment. As long as your children are safe, fed and happy, the laundry can always wait!
AuPair for Twins or Triplets: Finding Your Balance
Whether you need an Aupair for twins, triplets, or a single child, bringing an Aupair into your home is one of the best decisions you can make for your family’s well-being, sanity, and work-life balance. With the right guidance, a structured onboarding process, and clear communication, your Aupair will not only provide childcare support but also give you back the time and freedom to be the parent you want to be.
Because at the end of the day, what we mothers need is a ‘wife’—someone who makes life that little bit easier, so we can focus on what truly matters: our children, our careers, and ourselves.
99aupairs is a multi-award-winning social enterprise helping busy full-time working parents to find flexible in-home care for their children.