Single mum of twins – My partner left one week after our twins came home

Single mum twins

Author:  Anonymous single mum of twins

At 7 weeks I found out I was pregnant with twins! I knew I didn’t want to find out the gender of my twins, although my partner did. However, I knew he couldn’t keep a secret so was adamant that neither of us would find out!

At the time, I was doing FIFO to Nauru- 3 weeks on, 3 weeks off.

Working on Nauru while pregnant with twins

At 18 weeks I was on island and so told the necessary people that I was pregnant. I soon found out that I was not allowed on island because I am an Australian citizen. This was despite the 14 other pregnant asylum seekers in camp. I tried arguing my case and was well aware that at that stage, regardless of where I was, if anything happened, they would not be viable. No one would budge. I returned home to find myself now jobless and pregnant- no one was going to employ a pregnant women, train them up, only to have them leave soon after. I took to tutoring a few different students in my neighbourhood and for a few different tutoring companies.

Public or private with twins?

Anyway, the pregnancy was ok despite 20 weeks of morning sickness. When deciding to go public or private, this decision was really made for me when I was told the obstetrician’s up front bit was $3000 and there was no guarantee they would be there for the birth, coupled with the fact that twins frequently come early and that they would be sent to RBWH anyway. I was referred by my doctor to RBWH and went private through the public system.

My obstetrician’s fee was $300 and she saw me fairly regularly as twins are a “high risk pregnancy”. Other than 20 weeks of morning sickness, there were no issues with the pregnancy. I had one twin who was cephalic and one who was breach. My breech baby had its head right under my ribs making dinner times particularly uncomfortable so often had to stand and eat my dinner.

The birth of my twins and the demise of my relationship

Looking back now, all was not so sunny and happy in my relationship, despite him proposing when I was about 10 weeks or so along. The night before the twins arrived at 35+5, we had a big argument and as usual he roared off.

The twins arrived on Monday 1st June by c-section as Twin A’s cord was presenting first. I was taken for an emergency c-section and all prepped for an epidural, etc. The surgeon did not even introduce herself, nor did she tell me she was starting to cut. Next minute I know, Twin A (a boy) was quickly presented to me and whisked away. Very shortly after that, Twin B (a girl) was shown to me and also whisked away.

My boy spent a few hours in NICU before being transferred to SCU in an isolette. My daughter was also in SCU in an isolette. I can’t remember how long they were in isolettes for but as soon as they could be, they were put into a twin bassinet together. They spent 26 days in SCU.

Single mum of twins

A week later my partner left us- never to be seen again…… (I know he is still alive though!)




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1 Comment

  1. Sorry to hear this story. As a father to 9mo twins, I cannot fathom how your ex did not feel the unconditional love that comes with the birth of twins to feel compelled to stay for them. I hope you have a good support network. All the best.

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