Backpack harnesses or wrist style leashes for twins or triplets
Backpack harnesses or wrist style leashes for twins or triplets can sometimes be a controversial topic. As the ‘perfect parent I was before I had children’, I certainly ‘judged’ those that used them.
And then I had children of my own, and not just one child, but two. At once. And now I understand. With that said I want to apologize for being the perfect parent (who had no kids!) and was judgy. I never made snide comments to people nor was I rude about it to them about it but in my head I was totally judging. Which was wrong.
Backpack harnesses or wrist style leashes DO NOT make you a bad parent. Remember, your babies your rules. No one has a right to shame you for it, not even family!
As a multiple birth parent myself, I have realised that there is no one way or easy way to take care of your babies. So if something makes your life simpler, then do it!
Five reasons why backpack harnesses or wrist style leashes for twins, triplets or more are GREAT!
1. They are life savers……….literally!
When you have several toddlers at once, they are life savers………literally.
I heard a story on a multiple page once about a triplet Mum who was coffee shop. She came in with her three toddlers who all had harnesses on. A man, very loudly, said to her “How dare you use a leash on those children, they aren’t dogs!”. Her reply was “You choose one!”. He replied “What do you mean?” and she said “You choose which one is going to hit by the car as we walk through the carpark, as I certainly can’t choose one”. The manager at the coffee shop overheard. He gave all three babies a free baby chino and the mum a free coffee as he was so impressed with her reply.
2. They give you, and your multiples, some freedom
Using backpack harnesses or wrist style leashes for twins or triplets will give YOU freedom. Yes, you read that right it will give YOU freedom. Freedom to take your toddlers to the zoo or the park completely alone. No partner or big sister. No grandmas, no friends. Just you and them.
Plus, it lets them out of the stroller and be a bit more independent by walking themselves.
For what it’s worth, you don’t have to hold them “like dogs”. But the leash part is there just in case you need it.
We didn’t use ours very often. We had the backpack style ones with the removable leads. I would let them put a toy and snacks in it and they would proudly wear them and get excited. They loved their backpacks. I was one of the lucky ones, and my twins rarely needed the leads. I think I only used them in airports and on public transport. So much easier than a pram!
3. It gives your toddlers some independence
Harnesses give kids so much more freedom than being strapped into a pram or holding hands. It lets them think they are walking and exploring all on their own. Which can cut down on the tantrums. So it is a win/win situation. You, as the parent, feel happier as they are safer. They, as the child, feel more independent.
4. Kids are unpredictable. Harness style leashes for twins and more will help with this.
Even the most well behaved toddler can become unruly, they are like ticking time bombs! When you have two or three, well, it can be an absolute disaster! Particularly when they decide to run in different directions.
Things can happen in the blink of an eye. And this does NOT make you a bad parent. Things happen, and when you have multiple children, the odds of something happening multiplies exponentially.
I sometimes refer to toddlers as “oysters”. Remember the famous scene in Pretty Woman, where Julia Roberts is in the posh restaurant and the oyster goes flying? Well, in my opinion, toddlers are either clinging to your leg or as unpredictable as those ‘slippery little suckers’.
5. Parent shaming is easy. Passing judgment is easier.
Parents can’t win! It’s either leash/backpack and you’re a lazy/bad parent, or your kids run around (because they’re KIDS) and you lose one or one gets hurt and you’re a bad/lazy parent.
Replies if you get hassled about using backpack harnesses or wrist style leashes for twins, triplets or more
You are bound to get some judgy comments.
Firstly, just try and ignore them! Honestly, don’t get worked up about it. However, sometimes they may have picked the wrong sleep deprived parent and you feel a burning urge to reply. Depending on your personality, here are some possible comebacks.
Yes, and one can argue that just teach them to stay nearby or to hold your hand… but you hold several exploring toddler’s hands for multiple hours straight and tell me how that goes for you!
Judge all you like, I’ll be taking my kids home tonight!
I would prefer to have my twins or triplets in a harness than see their faces on the six o’clock News
If someone asks if you feel bad for using them, you could politely reply “Not as bad as I would feel picking out a baby coffin”.
Be warned though, a reply like this may just aggravate the whole situation.
Regardless of what anyone says, remember, they are your children, and you are responsible for them. As with everything regarding multiple birth parenting, our official advice is to do what works best for you and your family. And ignore what ever anyone else has to say about it.