Postnatal depression in fathers of twins and triplets

PND dad of twins

Postnatal depression in fathers of twins and triplets is a topic that many people shy away from talking about. You have just brought home several newborn babies, whom everyone wants to see. The pressure is already there for this to be the most exciting time in your life!! What people don’t realise, is that it can also be extremely overwhelming and emotional.

People tend not to talk about it if they are the one suffering from it and others also shy away from raising the topic if it is someone close to them that is suffering from it.

It is a topic that does need to be spoken about and awareness needs to be raised around it.

Generally when people think about postnatal depression they assume that it is the mother that is suffering, however post natal depression in fathers of twins or triplets is just as important to consider.

One in ten new dads will also suffer from PND.

Queensland Health

New dads are prone to developing postnatal depression after their babies are born and those who are new dads to twins and triplets may be more at risk.

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Indoor activities for toddler twins and triplets

indoor activities for twins and triplets

Indoor activities for toddler twins and triplets

Whether it is because the weather is getting colder, its been raining a lot or you simply just want to stay home and indoors – you are bound to need ideas on how to entertain your toddlers.

There is no need to rush out and buy the latest gadgets and devices, sometimes simple is best! Let them loose in the “plastics draw”, rotate your existing toys so you can bring out “new” ones each fortnight (this helps keep the house tidier as well!) or even just blow bubbles inside the house rather than the back garden.

Toddlerhood is an exciting time for your twins or triplets. They may be beginning to take those first few unassisted steps, they are probably getting a little bit stubborn and independent with different tasks and they are getting bored VERY quickly. They want stimulation and lots of it.

We have put together a quick list of SIMPLE indoor activities for toddler twins and triplets to keep them happy and entertained.

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Could my twins be identical? Twin Zygosity

Monochorionic-diamniotic-twins

Author: Kath Doyle

When parents find out that they are expecting multiples, on top of the inevitable shock they are faced with a whole new language.  Terms like chorionicity, amnionicity and zygosity along with acronyms like MCDA and DCDA start to be thrown around very early and it can be confusing and overwhelming.  For the sake of simplicity we will just refer to twins in this article.

So, here is a quick breakdown of these terms.

Note from Twinfo:   You can read our “Dictionary for Common Multiple Birth Terms HERE.

What is Zygosity?

Zygosity in the context of multiples refers to how genetically similar or different they are.  While there are uncommon cases which do not fit neatly into these two categories, the vast majority of twins are either monozygotic (identical) or dizygotic (fraternal).

Dichorionic-diamniotic twins
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Caring for newborn twins or triplets. How to find extra hours in the day.

caring for newborn twins and triplets

Caring for newborn twins or triplets. How to find extra hours in the day.

In the first part of this article, we looked at how long it takes to look after newborn twins.

If you haven’t read the first part of our article, check it out:

Looking after twins takes approximately 19 hours a day.

As you’ve probably worked out, when you are caring for newborn twins or triplets, your schedule leaves A LOT of things out of your life. Most days you will be lucky to do anything non-baby related or move beyond a basic animal need just to keep yourself functioning.

Things, like looking after your house, spending quality time with your partner or friends, or doing something just for yourself like reading, watching tv or exercising, will rarely happen in the first few months of your babies lives.

It is reasonable to expect that taking care of twins will take up to 19 hours a day for one carer. But it is possible to improve on this, especially as you get into some sort of rhythm.

To find extra time in your day, check our handy tips below.

caring for newborn triplets
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Looking after twins takes approximately 19 hours a day

looking after newborn twins

Looking after twins can take up most of the day. With changing nappies, feeding and settling your babies to sleep, plus all of the washing of baby bits and bobs, we estimate it can take up to 19 hours a day.

Looking after twins: How many hours a day does it really take?

The quick answer is – all of them! This sounds like the start of a bad joke, or a very scary story. But seriously, if you are facing the birth of twins or multiples you might really want to know how much time it can take up.

You can probably imagine that it does take many hours of the day and night to look after even one newborn, let alone two (or more). You need to consider fitting in the following tasks:

  • Caring for your babies directly
  • Caring for any other children you may have
  • All of the indirect ways you care for your babies and family such as food preparation, bottle washing, and laundry
  • Caring for any other children you may have
  • Looking after your own basic needs
  • Looking after your pets
  • Spending time with your partner
  • Looking after your house
  • Any time for fun or friends

Your priorities will probably be in that order, and you will only get down to spending time on yourself and with your partner when everything else is done first (which many days it won’t be).

But how much time does this all actually take?

And how can you manage your time better to magically find a little more of it up your sleeve?

caring for newborn triplets
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Exclusively pumping for twins.

can you pump for twins full time

Author: Paige Bell-Male

I started expressing for my twins less than six hours after they were born.

Both were in the NICU at the time and neither were really up to nursing (although they could both suck feed). While I reduced output at work I didn’t take a break there and was back working two days after they were born while still in the hospital.

To hire or buy a breast pump for twins?

I purchased the Spectra S2 shortly before hospital discharge. It ended up arriving on the day I was discharged (with Twin A who was readmitted the next day) but I didn’t know that at the time. So I’d organized to hire a pump for a fortnight so I had time for my pump to arrive.

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Having twins after PND. My journey with Perinatal Depression and Anxiety

pregnant with twins and prior postnatal depression

Author: Jade

Congratulations they said
You’re now a mum
Little did they know
What I’d actually become...
 
Crippled with feelings
Eating me up inside
Not wanting to leave the house
In the bedroom I would hide
 
I’d do my face
Cake on lipstick so red
Little did they know I felt safer in bed
 
A mask to hide behind
From what I did not know
Trying to be everything to everyone
a super mum, go go go
 
You look beautiful they said
You’ve recovered so well
I’m so scared of dying I wanted to tell 

Yes the baby is great
She growing for sure
But my chest is heavy
And breathing’s a chore
 
Frightened of leaving
I’d picture my death
Each day each movement
Scared it’d be my last breath
 
Things were hard
This had never been so true
Desperate for help
But didn’t know what to do
 
Hardly eating or drinking
Not a thought for myself
Not realising my lack of appetite
Was my deteriorating mental health
 
I felt so stupid and so dumb
I couldn’t concentrate
Unable to connect my thoughts to my tongue
 
The old me was there
A picture hanging on the wall
I’ll find her someday
 And dance once again without a care
 
So lonely so raw I needed some help
Not cooking not cleaning
I needed so much more
 
You’re not a bad mum
You’re not to blame
This parenting gig It’s one hell of a game
 
You’re not alone
Once you speak up you’ll see
These feelings I had It wasn’t just me
 
Postnatal anxiety
Is this you too
Speak up and shout it loud
There’s help waiting for you .....
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One, then Twins … Introducing a toddler to newborn twins

Telling a toddler you are expecting twins

Author:  Danielle McGregor

We went into our scan, like many multi parents, holding our breath, just hoping and praying for a heartbeat! As the doppler grazed my stomach, it was clear that there were two sacs and, in fact, two babies. I cried and cried (happy tears – two strong heart beats!) and my husband simply didn’t speak!

As we got into the car his head immediately went to logistics – we would have to move, what car would we get, how could we afford to live on one wage with three children … However, my mind went to one place – Spencer.   I was worried about introducing a toddler to newborn twins after ha had had my full attention his whole life.

Mother guilt when pregnant with baby number two…….and three!

At that stage our first born was 2 years and 8 months old. He was going to go from being the only child, to a brother of twins! The mum guilt hit hard! I wondered how on earth was I going to spread my love evenly between three children? How could I prepare my baby boy for an upheaval on his life? How would Spencer understand that he would no longer receive 1:1 attention?

Introducing a toddler to newborn twins_ big brother to twins
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Anxiety due to Coronavirus

COVID-19 and anxiety

Author: Amanda Curran, Registered Psychologist

Dealing with the anxiety around COVID-19

Information is coming from every angle, and it’s confusing.

Things are changing by the day, and even by the hour.

anxiety from coronavirus

It would be easy to panic, feel your heart race when someone sneezes or coughs around you, but is this helpful?

For the majority of people COVOD-19 will not enter your home. And if it does you will feel unwell for a week or so (or may not even know you have it) and then recover fully, able to re-enter your life fully after all symptoms have subsided. Some however will get very ill, very quickly and will need medical attention.

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Fingerprints in identical twins

Do identical twins have the same fingerprints

Author: Anke

Fingerprints have been used as a means of identification for over 100 years as they are permanent and unique structures.

When are fingerprints formed?

Between the 10th and 24th week of gestation in the womb, the skin on the underside of the foetus’ hands, fingers, feet and toes develops and goes through rapid growth. The growth causes a huge amount of pressure and strains on the skin, causing it to buckle into folds. These folds reach all the way to the inner layer of the skin, i.e. the dermis, where it becomes anchored in place. The skin forms a complex friction ridge pattern and is the foundation of our permanent fingerprint.

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