You can’t miss it. The marketing for Mother’s Day began a month ago – you know, all the “beautiful” flannel pyjamas and fluffy slippers are piled high as you enter the shop. However, if your household is anything like mine, my partner will turn to me a few days before Mother’s Day, with a panicked look in his eye and ask me what I want for Mother’s Day!
And here, Mums, is where we get it wrong. If you say “Oh nothing, let’s just spend the day as a family’, then that’s what is going to happen! Before you know it, you will be left looking after the kids while your partner is out mowing the lawn and doing all the general jobs that need doing on the weekend. And you will go to bed feeling disappointed. So don’t feel bad about being brutally honest. If you want to have a hot bath ON YOUR OWN (with no bath toys in sight!) then tell your family that their job is to clean the bathroom, and remove the bath toys. Your partner can then take the kids out to the park for an hour to let you soak in peace!
What do multiple mums want for Mothers Day?
Here is an epiphany for the partners. We don’t really want expensive gifts! We don’t want “stuff”. Or flowers (which die) or chocolate (we are still struggling to get rid of the baby weight). What we want is recognition of the many relentless hours of nappy changing, bum wiping, arguing over what shoes to wear, the never ending laundry and trying to think of a meal that everyone will eat. All those things that just “happen” around the house.
After speaking to many multi mums I can share with you what multiple mums want for Mother’s Day. Don’t panic – we don’t want all of them, as that would be impossible. But we would like a few of them.
10 things that multiple mums REALLY want for Mother’s Day!
1. Recognition for all the work we do
This isn’t a case of pointing fingers and trying to say one person doesn’t more than the other. We all know raising multiples is hard work! And that it is a team effort. All Mums want is a little bit of recognition that being a Mum is a lot of work.
2. A day off from carrying the ‘mental load’
What we mean by this is we don’t want to have to plan the day! If we are going to the beach, we don’t want to pack the beach bag and be the one making sure that we have enough towels snacks and sunscreen, that we have full water bottles, everyone has a hat and that everyone goes to the toilet before we leave the house!
3. A day off from the dishes & laundry
Warning – this doesn’t just mean ‘ignoring’ these less than glamorous tasks. As all that means is that there is twice as much to do tomorrow! This is what’s known as a “Mother’s Day hangover”. Double the household duties the following day!
4. A photo of Mum with the kids
All too often the Mum is the one taking the photos. Plus we are much harsher on ourselves in photos and delete a lot of them! We would love for someone to take a photo of us and the kids without having to ask.
5. A sleep in
I’m not talking about not getting out of bed until noon. Just not getting up to have to change nappies and make breakfast would be nice! A chance to lay in bed, knowing that all of this is happening and you don’t have to deal with it is blissful.
6. A long, hot bath (or shower)
And remember, we don’t want to have to scrub the bathtub first, and we don’t want to sit on a farm animal while we are relaxing. So make sure you remove the bath toys and keep the kids away from banging on the door!!
7. Some time to read a book in peace
A trip to the park would be ideal……………….leaving Mum at home to read a book.
8. Not having to sort out the kids arguments and problems
Not having to be the person to find the missing shoe, or stepping in and breaking up arguments.
9. A break from cooking
We don’t expect a three course gourmet meal. A chicken schnitzel, ready-made salad and oven chips is fine. As long as we don’t have to decide what to cook or cook it!!! And if we do go out to dinner, please make sure there is a reservation and that it is at a place where there is something the kids will eat! Refer to point two!!!
10. A card made by the kids
Something we can treasure and look back on.
There are no excuses!
Mums, please don’t suffer from Mother’s Day disappointment! Speak up. Let people know what YOU want to do. Raising multiples is a tough job. You deserve the Mother’s Day that YOU want.
If you are in a same sex relationship, then come up with a compromise. One can use the bath in the morning and your partner can take a turn in the afternoon! Or have one Mother’s Day on Saturday, and the others on Sunday! Your family. Your rules.
If you are a single mother, then organise for someone to look after the kids for you while you take a long hot soak all on your own! Sorry, but depending on the age of your children, you will probably be the person who will have to remove all the bath toys!
If your partner is working or away then celebrate on a different day. Do what works for you and your family!
If you don’t have a bathtub, then tell your family you want a long hot shower in peace and quiet. Take the opportunity to wash your hair and shave your legs in peace.
If you are a stay at home Dad, feel free to bring this blog post out again on Father’s Day!
If money is tight, don’t worry. All of these ideas are free.
Do you agree with our list of thing what multiple mums want for Mother’s Day?? Tell us in the comments what your ideal Mother’s Day would be.
Passionate about all things multiple, Naomi is the founder of Twinfo.
Naomi is a Parenting Blogger and a Brand Ambassador, but most important of all she is a twin mother who understands.