Sonographer: And here is your baby. Oh, and here is your other baby. Congratulations it’s twins!!! Or if your extra lucky it’s triplets.
At some stage you are going to need to decide if you are going to find out the gender of twins (or more!).
Here are some reasons people decide to find out the gender of twins or more
Finding out it was multiples was enough of a surprise thank you very much!
For some people, finding out that there is more than one baby is more than enough of a surprise. And as a result, they feel they are more than happy to find out the gender of twins or more.
Choosing one name is already hard enough
If you don’t know the gender if twins or more, choosing names can be a lengthy process. It’s hard enough having to pick one first name and one middle name without making the list longer than it needs to be.
Being a parent of multiples means you learn a lot about everything being equal….from a very early age. You may already have a “special” boy and a girl name picked to honour a certain person in your life. Then you find out there is a chance you could be having two (or three!) of the same gender. Panic sets in, in case you have to come up with another name that was just as special
If you are having twins it means coming up with a minimum of 6 name combinations.
Boy/Girl – This could be a combination from above, but not necessarily.
And with triplets is a minimum of 12 combinations!
Boy/Girl/Girl – This could be a combination from above, but not necessarily.
Boy/ Boy/Girl – This could be a combination from above, but not necessarily.
And then of course you may want to decide on nicknames for twins or triplets as well!
An overwhelming desire to be organised
Knowing the genders helped can help parents feel slightly more in control in a situation that may feel overwhelming. Knowing the gender can help them feel in control and help prevent some form of anxiety from creeping in.
Gender disappointment is a valid reason to find out the gender of twins or triplets
Regardless of the fact that all babies are gorgeous, and all we want is a healthy baby, gender disappointment is real. And when you are having multiple babies, there is a chance that they are identical. So if you really want a girl, as you already have three beautiful boys, then there is a chance that you may have two or more boys.
By finding out before the birth it may give parents more time to come to terms with the gender and ensure there are no negative emotions at the time of the birth. This can help with people’s mental health and put less stress on them after the birth.
You already have one boy and one girl
Some families, who already have a “pigeon pair” may decide to find out the gender of twins or triplets as they have already have had a child of each gender.
You already have several children of the gender, so you want to know if you need to keep all the baby clothes
If you have piles of “pink” or “blue” you may wish to find out so you can de-clutter a bit in preparation for your impending babies. Hopefully you will be able to re-use most of it (cause clothing multiple babies is expensive!) and just and in a splash of other colours here and there.
Sometimes you may have medical complication, and if there is a fear of loosing them you may want to find out the genders so you can prepare names.
Also, if you are having scans every few days then it can get a bit tedious not knowing as the sonographer has to keep asking you to close your eyes etc so they can check certain areas of your babies development.
Previous family trauma can cause people to want to find out the gender of twins or triplets
Some parents may feel anxiety due to a previous trauma that they may have experienced when they were younger. Such as a sexual assault. In order for them to prepare to be the best parent they can be, some people prefer to think ahead about conversations they need to have in the future. It is important to try to tackle these emotions before the babies arrive. Finding out the genders is one way to help deal with that.
Another reason could be due to previous miscarriages. You may have had several miscarriages of the same gender. Deciding to find out the gender of twins or more may help to ease your mind a bit.
Its expensive getting all the things you need for multiples. If you are a person who is firmly in the “pink and blue” camp, then you may want to find out so you can decorate or purchase items accordingly.
To be fair, gender neutral clothing is sometimes not as pretty as girl/boy specific clothing.
Bonding and connection is another reason people to want to find out the gender of twins or triplets
Some families choose to find out the gender of twins or more as it helps them feel more connected and bond a bit more with their unborn children. You can call them by their gender, or name. Rather than Baby A, Baby B, it or them!
If you have other, young children, it might help them understand a bit more if they know they are getting new sisters, brothers or some of each!
You don’t have a choice as accident can happen
Sometimes, it just happens that the doctor or sonographer lets it slip. Or in some tests, such as the Harmony test, it can identify if there is a male chromosome.
Alternatively, your unborn child may be a true exhibitionist and display their gender for all and sundry to see on the ultrasound.
Because you are impatient and hate surprises
Some people truly hate surprises. And that’s fine. They are your babies, you can find out the gender if you want. Other people are just simply curious and want to know.
To find out the gender of twins or triplets – or not – can be a big decision
But its just one of many you will make as you navigate multiple birth life. One thing I can promise is you are going to love them either way!